A View into the Void

This is the silencer shoot i wanted to go to but missed...

2008-10-19T00:03:00.000-07:00

AAC Silencer Shoot 2008. from Advanced Armament Corp. on Vimeo.

Another Update

2008-08-04T23:45:00.000-07:00

Heyo all that actually read this, I am still around. my main computer died so i am back to the standby.... At least /k/ is back up so i can recollect my gun-tans. On another note i am back to inventing and am finally down to my last semester. also finally got another job after about a year without. also going to be working on an new costume that uses the knowlege i gained in school. this time i will not get the snub like i did before. i am so joyed that i feel like laughing....

return to the web

2008-04-05T23:25:00.000-07:00

I know i had vanished for a while...hell for most of the year since the first post of 2008. i just logged back into my blog here for a few updates:
-I am still alive
-Tool Design work has me fried as well as my lab work... it all makes me very happy for previous experience and that grad date is now visible.
-Finally have some prospects for work again. Hate that the last one closed for good and had to sell off the CNC machines....meh... it happens.
-The Feds are asking for the yearly dues and overspending...biz as usual really

Well this all covers the reality in my usual directly ambiguous way. will list more when there is something to say...Laters

boredom and a quiz

2008-01-07T14:13:00.000-08:00

I Am A: Lawful Evil Human Ranger/Cleric (2nd/2nd Level) Ability Scores: Strength-16 Dexterity-16 Constitution-16 Intelligence-18 Wisdom-17 Charisma-16 Alignment: Lawful Evil A lawful evil villain methodically takes what he wants within the limits of his code of conduct without regard for whom it hurts. He cares about tradition, loyalty, and order but not about freedom, dignity, or life. He plays by the rules but without mercy or compassion. He is comfortable in a hierarchy and would like to rule, but is willing to serve. He condemns others not according to their actions but according to race, religion, homeland, or social rank. He is loath to break laws or promises. This reluctance comes partly from his nature and partly because he depends on order to protect himself from those who oppose him on moral grounds. Some lawful evil villains have particular taboos, such as not killing in cold blood (but having underlings do it) or not letting children come to harm (if it can be helped). They imagine that these compunctions put them above unprincipled villains. Some lawful evil people and creatures commit themselves to evil with a zeal like that of a crusader committed to good. Beyond being willing to hurt others for their own ends, they take pleasure in spreading evil as an end unto itself. They may also see doing evil as part of a duty to an evil deity or master. Lawful evil is sometimes called diabolical, because devils are the epitome of lawful evil. Lawful evil is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and dedicated self-interest. However, lawful evil can be a dangerous alignment because it represents methodical, intentional, and frequently successful evil. Race: Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like. Primary Class: Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter's dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast. Secondary Class: Clerics act as intermediaries between the earthly and the divine (or infernal) worlds. A good cleric helps those in need, while an evil cleric seeks to spread his patron's vision of evil across the world. All clerics can heal wounds and bring people back from the brink of death, and powerful clerics can even raise the dead. Likewise, all clerics have authority over undead creatures, and they can turn away or even destroy these creatures. Clerics are trained in the use of simple weapons, and can use all forms of armor and shields without penalty, since armor does not interfere with the casting of divine spells. In addition to his normal complement of spells, every cleric chooses to focus on two of his deity's domains. These domains grants the cleric special powers, and give him access to spells that he might otherwise never learn. A cleric's Wisdom score should be high, since this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast. Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Return from the battlefields of education

2007-12-15T21:53:00.001-08:00

Yes I am back and as you can tell from the pic i found a dog! No no just kidding...that is not me. but i thought i would make my return and have some funny pix like this. I have added more to the stories i have been writing but mostly i have been helping family move...now with more mountains...and need for my 4WD. I now have a nice valley to look over and real comedy from the neighborhood watch...elderly patrols with guns in hand. lots of fun. As i went up i did bump into toki and was able to deliver her the Christmas gift Fawkes, My fiance`, and I got for her...a singing cow,foot lotion/soap, a snow globe ornament and a BIG loli. SUGAR!!! exactly what every growing girl needs... Also when i got home, fawkes and I have made a decision: Toki, You are now the adopted little sister we both wanted...hope you like this new set of responsibilities and insanity. for that i have a pic for you:
On another note, with Christmas coming up I also have a birthday coming up and i know that what few readers i do have to this are "local"...well enough so to come if you wanted to where i am having the birthday meal. If you are interested reply on here and i will send you directions/times to get there. i am sure it will be a blast and since this is essentially a public broadcast, no further info on the meal will be posted on the front side here.

now for lighter things...only a little longer left in school. tool design looks to be fun as well as instruments. going to be a good bit into next month before i start back so i am spending my in between time to prep for certification exams. yes classes are out but more books... which means i cannot do much true slacking so i have to work my ass off all the time. and to help me stay on topic, i have had to hire support to keep me working. and here they are:
Yeah...Gothic Loli Nazi Maids...nothing like a belt-fed German "Zipper" to keep a good boy working... Well Back To Work!

odd

2007-10-15T22:02:00.000-07:00

well i am back again and i have been typing alot more. strangely it seems my writings have been more...celestial aspect of it. i have been feeling more light and the power of God in me and my life with personal visions and references taking an angelic tone as well. i have written in the past of my having aetherial wings that i often feel but are not visible. now it seems to be stronger and like i will have good results for all the prayers. all i can say is i can only thAnk God for all the success and strength i now have. i just ask also that all who have been praying for me continue since i am not outta the woods yet.

On another topic...Been having and surviving all these tests i have had in school. finally passing dynamics and managed to find my missing test and hw. this makes me happy and now i just have to survive the Thermodynamics I second test. as a result i need to hit the sack soon. i just wanted to put something up here since my literary juices have been bubbling to the surface more than usual. now to face the inner worlds of my mind and glide....love you all my special friends and fans

friends missed and seen

2007-09-30T20:58:00.000-07:00

Well today was another Sunday...traveling about the county trying to find something to do...well after i had a Sunday voluntary class in my fluids class. not too bad...i had decent time for spending an hour in the same room as always for the class but sans AC this time. glad it was only an hour. also went for pizza and got more Gundam stuff like Char's Counter Attack.
On the topic of friends, did try going to a concert/performance last night of Code Atom...like the group, hated how the show and timing went...was supposed to start at 8 PM and got rolling at 10:30...real timely...did miss the cover charge but that is what we get for being i dunno ON TIME? Joe joined us and he drank enough for all of us but it was fun...the joke parade ran and offended most in earshot. most are too sensitive to our humor since we get racy due to being so open in the group. if you can't laugh at yourself, you shouldn't laugh at others. was interesting watching drunks be fools or Joe just try to talk to others. he went over to one table and started chatting with several women and their reaction. they tried to get him to leave saying they were all engaged, but he responded that he was only trying to talk to them. frankly most can't take the jokes we do due to the whole pesky PC shift America has made
I also got to go visit my friend Toki this weekend. another great time in rome running about the berry campus and a bojangles run. looks like i have her interested in pocket otaku which means i will have more people i trust on there...or should i say someone i dont have to break in to my personality w/ the risk of getting hit with the ban hammer. any ways i love on how she is always so glad to see me. my mom really wants to meet her since she is such a special friend to me. i would do anything for her and often miss her but nothing to do about that. meh. always a wild an crazy adventure with her, and i like how paige doesn't mind me going to visit... she sees her as like a lil sister (minus the whole sibling rivalry thing). it is interesting to me on how she is still so innocent and pure about simple naughty jokes like 69...would have explained it but i would have prolly gotten a "gross gross" from her so i spared her it. was surprised that she did not like me wanting/trying to massage her shoulders...surprised since she did not mind it at MomoCon...just wanted to help her feel better since she had not had sleep in such a while. ADD sleep deprivation...been there, still affected by it, kinda suffering from it.
well i think that is enough for now...but before i go i will say this. Toki said i love you at the end of one call once surprising me but she later said it was in the friend manner. well i could not say the words aloud w/o concerning paige so i will type it now that i love her back as my friend. not as strange saying it now as when my friend Jamin said it to me and i said it back in the same sense. still difficult to express some emotions despite my general openness. guess society/honor has me there...

oh sorry no piz this time...lost flash drive for the moment.

full power mind

2007-09-15T23:10:00.000-07:00

Well this is an interesting entry to add but for some reason my mind went into full active mode this evening. I for some reason i cannot place my finger on all my theories and concepts of space-time and reality came back to me. I conceived most of them while I was in school as a child as odd as that sounds. Boredom lead me to uncracking what I later discovered was Einstein's space-time theorem with the interconnectivity of the two. as i studied further my idea of sub dimensions or localized special physical effects was actually String/M theory. it amazes me that i conceived all this in deep thought as a child. most don't believe me but this is all true. it is unbelievable that a child could calculate through intuition and the start of algebra could unravel all this but i did.

All of that is nothing though to one idea i have to admit is loosely based off the Mayan calendar, cyclical nature of how often the planet is hit by asteroids, and clockwork machinery. i have a belief that most of time and space is like a series of sprockets, teeth interlocking turning the next sprocket predicting the next piece in a long cycle to occur. to account for the exceptions in this long series are occasional interrupter routines that are a part of the Longer, Larger grand cycle that runs smaller counting wheels in the entirety of the machine.occasionally cycles overlap producing a grand convergence like what the Mayan and several other prophesies predict for December 2012. sounds odd but this concept accounts for why the next great asteroid strike has not happened like astronomers predict it should. it figures that a mechanical engineer would conceive this theory which is basically a way to better understand God and his will.

I welcome your opinions and would like to hear your thoughts.

As the fluids flow...

2007-09-09T21:36:00.000-07:00

well i have had the first of that last mentioned series of tests and it seems to have been not too evil. the prof had me prepping for it like it was the fundamentals of engineering exam. could have been much worse but now i am prepping for the next exam, THERMODYNAMICS!!! have to do the work for that, finish a lab report, do hw for fluids and dynamics, and somewhere in all this remain mentally together enough to seem normal....no wonder i usually hide in a hole.

Another thing coming up is September 11. it is the 6th anniversary of the attacks and another Tuesday like it was when the attacks occurred with another big first test on that day. this used to be a normal day for me, the birthday of my grandmother, a day for me to enjoy with the person who like my mom really knew that i was just me and still learning. now it is a day i remember with sadness at the strikes, sad at the denial of people around me to understand that we are at war with a slithering foe, and anger at al Quaida, calling for an Exterminatis to counter the jihads and fatwas. this is the day that made me REALLY bitter and made all the premonitions/dreams before make sense and come into full clarity. a 3 sided war with America and allies on one, haters of the west on the other, and our enemies with-in that are so hell bent for power that the righteous duty matters not.

now for the more positive side: wed is my mom's bday and i got to see her this weekend since she is going to be gone next and it was fun. almost got her to play DDR with me but she was going to the country club so she did not want to get sweaty. her loss but we also went to a college sports store and i got some UGA boxers. now i can have some outer (but hidden) display of my fave football team and only sports team i give a damn about.
While i was up there i did get to bump into and hang out with my friend Toki. gawd she is a fun one and she is definitely looking better as she has grown. changed little in the years i have known her and as ADD as i am with a sugar love rivaling my caffeine addiction. when i came back from our wild adventures around Berry paige gave me a funny lil inquisition: "did you behave your self?" "did you mind your paws?" "did she behave?" "did you touch cow?" "you did not play with cow's udders,did you?" "bet you did...you love milkers, i know you do..." all of this a silly set of jokes based off her lil plush toy cow she talks about on her blog. she is a special one to me and was a lil taken aback when last night she had said i love you meaning it as one does for a friend as i want to say to her but so bound by nervousness and concern for paige if she hear me say that back. i was quiet about this all day since i am down about other things but it hurt a little not being able to be the open person i feel i need to be. Toki is the only one of my female friends that is not a PO i can hang with without paige feeling like something may happen. it is kinda emo to say this but maybe it is the hour but i am sad she feels like i would betray her or think i would be like my dad or brother. meh... enough for now.

on a final note below is an idea for me to do a crossplay but i need to do some more polymer molding before i take on this level of a project.plus it is the only way for me to pull off such an act without being untasteful or too odd to the public. those that know me will already suspect it is me but come on...it will be worth the LOL's (and this is technically a lol...loli mech....)

Animal Testing...ok College Testing (same diff)

2007-08-30T23:37:00.000-07:00

Well my first tests of fall begin in a week. lordy do i have alot of work to get done and concepts to straighten out...Fluid Mechanics will be a doozy...forgot how much applied Statics goes into this. Dynamics is not looking as bad for my as my previous attempt and thermo will be as i have heard thermo is...EVIL!!! hey it fits...heat in hell...and since most of my calculations are with water i guess it is not a dry heat
on another note....i will finally get to see an old friend again. she has been busy as hell and been listening to a cow who unfortunately got her ill, leaving lots of school work undone. this has her tied up but for an afternoon or evening. i hope she can get caught up cause she is one of my special friends and i hate for people to be over loaded and be stuck...unless i dislike that individual. but that is not the case w/ her so i wish her well and in closing i give this for her to look at: the rules...true mostly for 4chan but they fit almost all the net too.

new start...new chance

2007-08-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

Well I have begun another semester at school and it is going to require new effort to move forward. TRUE engineering load this time (unlike summer that is). Thermodynamics, Fluid Mechanics, and a new try at Dynamics. I have so much hope for this and my future. i got shafted by the contract issueing practices of the government again given the old job i had was to restart was sniped by the decision to go with General Dynamics versus DataPath by the feddies. there was a part order issued for the job by DataPath to my old work but they had to stop work the day before i was to start back since there was no way to pay me w/o any work.
On another note i am looking forward to this next weekend, labor day. i get a chance to see old friends and vanish into the crowd again, existing as a ghost. it is dragon con time again and i hope i can afford it. no job and low savings means i cannot afford to 'just go' like i did last year. i am really hoping i can get the cash together so i can take toki down there but first i gotta find her again...damn funky phones and net servers...guess i will have to do email again and cross my kitty toes...if only i could go to a con in this:

frustration with the family and general

2007-08-18T21:04:00.000-07:00

i wish i could get my dad and those that are to help me in coming months to listen to me. i have some issues ongoing from a couple years ago but i don't want to talk about it. the point here is that these people are supposed to be researching and helping me. i don't understand why they have decided to put their fear of loss of status as the primary guide. i need them to listen to me and the outside help from this "support squad" since i found people more experienced and it is my ass on the line. hell i was even told that if i used maternal sources or asked for her help they would not pay for the assistance i needed. add to this the nebulous speak of the helper keeps me from doing a preemptive strike to keep everything managed before it got to this bad state. i really don't know what to do.

on another note, i am wondering what has happened to my friend. she will hate i am mentioning this here but she is easier to locate blog to blog. i tried to call her as per her request on the # she gave me in an im but i keep getting just her voice mail. i wonder if i got the # right but i just wonder if she knows it is going to recording right off or if it is off. i just hope it is battery or forgetting to get the phone on and not her being hurt. took so long to finally have a # to call and then it is dead/no answer concerns me as well as her quickly vanishing leaving me the # w/o my asking. meh...i will see soon enough.

nother night

2007-07-29T19:53:00.000-07:00

just came back and decided for another series of words to appear on teh interwebs. one of my friends is continuing down a dark dumb path: dating the best friend of his ex. i understand it could work but this screams dumb desperation. john is generally stoic and able for the cold logic he needs in cases like this but he apparently has forgotten how to stand on his own. paige wants to hit him with my cast iron skillet for all this and i want to meet these people so i can understand. i only seek understanding so i truly can call him a twit for this. gravity apparently is impeding the correct logic center from functioning. not sure what to do with him...

on anther note, i think i may start to use this blog as a publishing site for a few of my poems but i am kinda paranoid. i am afraid others might take my work as theirs and/or think i am nuts. my topics usually center upon the end of civilization, my thoughts, or on what is nicely stated as new age. not sure whether to publish piece meal again like i used to or should i hold the collection for a full book. i welcome feed back to help me sort this out

THE RETURN

2007-07-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

i am back again and hate my absence. took summer classes and aced them. now if only i had time to go and bug Toki at her college summer classes. been busy working on a robot on campus and it is looking cool. just need to get it done so i can list it on the ole resume and get some recognition for the quadruped i worked upon. also my writing powers have returned so i have been cranking out some gold ones.

on another note i am now training bloodhounds and today was a blast at it. man have i forgotten how much fun it is to go running across creation and enjoy nature. today my friend who was supposed to remem how i went to guide the trainer for more precise tracking lost me along the 'hootch and i was left hanging in a fallen tree over the river while waiting on the dog. good thing penny, the dog, can find me fast though i did confuse her some.

insomnia again

2007-06-12T00:07:00.000-07:00

It is yet another night i cannot sleep well. I may have lucked out for now in my midterm being a take home one but all the same since my desktop is so unstable i have not been able to get any real work done on it. But that is not the source of this nocturnal disquiet. No...i am being kept awake by my mind being actively rehashing my past and one month of time in particular. I am remembering the one month of bungles and misunderstood, mistimed words and actions. That was the month i dated Sarah and i guess i miss her since we broke up so quickly and we never got much of a chance to become friends and patch-up what there was there that brought us together. the real probs were just i was too pressuring to her by her perception and i say the 3 words too early. now she has moved to Cali with all the more leftward thinking people like her family was. i only wish i would have had a chance to wish her off and appologise for my actions. the problem is that if i di see her and talked to her, i dont think she would have taken in my words as true and think i was trying to manipuate her.

it is things like this that make me desire to and work so hard to not remember my past. why i keep my mind to itself....

THE RESULTS ARE IN!

2007-05-05T16:02:00.000-07:00

ok semester is over and i have the results in. as i listed earlier dynamics was doomed and i did fail it but did learn from it so next time will be a little less doomed. Strength of Materials was a boon though and i did get the B in there i thought i would. kinda funny that i learned the last 2 sections that were on the final during the final by attempting the formulas. i do need to review the other sections but at least i am still on track to get more classes done and should be able to finish my core classes this summer. The redo of the American Lit i dropped is this summer and also going to take the psych class. reading all summer to do all that.... whee....

on another note the yamaha position fell through but i do have another interview. since i dont want to jinx it i will say more when i know more. world wish me luck!

changes...

2007-04-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

Well the semester is coming to an end and both doom and success are coming my way. Dynamics kicked me to the curb but looks like i had learned a good bit so it is not a total loss. Strength of Materials is a success though. looks like a B is coming my way there so i am quite happy. thank god it was not a killer like the other. now i cannot look at anything and see a simple solution or analyze the stress, strain, or deformations it faces on a normal basis. small price to pay for knowledge.

On another note there is a good prospect coming my way. i had an interview on tues and now i just have to hope it comes through for me. it was with Yamaha motors and looks to be a move up in both position and pay. wheee.....

2007-04-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

just though i would give a link to the other community i exist on. oh by the way...i got canned and i hate congress for it since their tying up defense fund bill recently has cut funds of our customer and then cost me my job. more later

late night rambles

2007-04-01T00:29:00.000-07:00

Well here I sit...bored and on the net. kinda depressing no? Even www.4chan.org and the weapons board, /k/, has lost its fun since the idiot swarms from the random board, /b/, have taken advantage of the April fools day and clogged the threads. I could sleep but dreams haunt me now. On one level they are bugging me since i sometimes reassemble all the data i acquire in my news hunts and make predictions that are about 80% correct. On another, i am dreaming of friends and a few feelings that due to Life have not had a chance. Finally the dreaming bugs me since it is in there it is like a second life i am living that occasionally gives me deja vu since it is accurate in images, text, and even conversations going on with one such flash happening earlier this evening. the second life is also where i can be most truthful since i don't have to worry about either getting shot or hurting others due to me knowing even if it is real as my waking life i know at the core i am dreaming. fucking sux but is also a blessing. meh...just a ramble and rattle from my head.

on another topic in this post let me say that the late hours also free me to ponder. cannot help but wonder about friends, money, my life, and my fiance. yes internets, i am engaged. no, there is not a defined date set, but there is a time frame. i love her and would do anything for her as she would for me. even with that i ponder what is going on in her mind and heart. were we both rebounding or is it real. i believe it is and will stay with her through hell and heaven. i just ponder everything especially since i do have a harem of fangirls that hang with me at conventions, a few i groomed and shaped to date but never got a chance for what ever reason. as friends i love them though some more than others but that kind oflove is fraternal mainly since i have positioned myself as a big brother to several. this has caused some trouble when people misunderstood me and my intentions when i was not engaged but that is the past. no point in dwelling.

anyways i prolly should go now and get to sleep. who know what dream realm i will end up in this time...

Projects

2007-03-30T23:08:00.000-07:00

As is listed in my profile I am a Scifi fan and a hardcore dr who fan. one project i am working on planning now and build later is a Dalek. i would post links but my best one is malfunctioning so i will show later. in any case i have mentioned this on campus and have been asked to donate it as the promotional robot for the campus. lots of fiberglass work ahead of me but time will show and much funding to collect. wonder if any of the corporations would like to sponsor or even my campus....

Entry to the WIDE WIDE web.

2007-03-28T01:00:00.000-07:00

Well here I am doing the one thing i swore i would not get into: blogging. yeah i am a newb but only to this. if this post sux well it is just an opener. like any form of written speach, i will improve in this in time. i would like to thank the creator of http://kotoki-chan.blogspot.com/ for getting me into this. hey at least i am not on myspace...god burn it in hell.